Saying a painful goodbye to my flock

Today is a heavy day. I’m writing this to share a journey that started when I was just a kid. Back then, chickens and roosters were the most exciting thing in the world to me. No matter what was going wrong, watching them made me forget every sorrow. They were my peace. But as life happened—parents' rules, moving, and time—I had to let them go.

About 10 years passed. Recently, I found myself at the lowest point in my life. I was struggling with deep anxiety, depression, and a total lack of joy. I felt lost. Then, one day, I was walking through the market and saw him: a massive, blood-red rooster with a perfect rose comb and a shimmering black tail. It felt like an electric current hit my body. For the first time in over a decade, I felt a spark of pure happiness.

I didn't have the money or the space at that exact moment, so I begged the seller to hold him for me. When I came back the next day, he was gone. Someone else had bought him.

I was devastated, but that moment woke something up in me. I realized that part of why I was so unhappy was because I had lacked this connection for so long. I decided then and there: I’m bringing chickens back into my life.

I started with a pair. The hen got sick, so I had to sell her. Then the rooster got sick, and I had to let him go too. But I didn't give up. A month later, I brought home three hens and a rooster, later adding one more hen. They were my world.

But reality hit hard yesterday. A predator took my beautiful white rooster.

I’ve realized I’ve been forcing this to work in a place where it just can't. I live in an area surrounded by predators, and I don't have the space or the proper setup to keep them 100% safe. Every day is a constant state of fear—for me and for them. I can't bear the thought of watching my hens get taken one by one.

So, I’ve made the hardest decision yet. Instead of buying a new rooster, I am going to sell my hens and end my flock.

It breaks my heart, but I have to be realistic. I’m choosing to focus on my career and my future now. If life allows it, and if I’m still around 15 or 20 years from now, I promise myself this: I will build my own house on my own land with a secure, predator-proof setup. Only then will I bring my roosters back.

Until then, goodbye to my lovely birds. Thank you for bringing color back into my life when everything was grey.