Pepper crossed the Rainbow Bridge

Pepper passed away today. She got sour crop randomly today in cruel twist of fate. Pepper wasn’t showing any signs the past few days besides slowing down. No squishy crop. No foul smell or anything. I made sure to be on top of it. My acquaintance who is vet told me she may had recently gotten sour crop today due to her organs staring to fail, especially her digestive tract. Basically her organs are were starting to fail and just happens to get sour crop. But I am still beating myself up for the possibility that maybe she did get sour crop before and I didn’t notice it. Or maybe I’m just holding myself to an unrealistic standard.

My mom told me Pepper wasn’t looking good so I ran out with my sister. I picked her up while my sister and she perked up. She sat in my lap and died. I panicked tried cpr since I thought she was suffocating. There was fluid dripping out. But by the time rigor mortis set in it was too late. Pepper passed peacefully and went to sleep in my arms. My sister tells me she wasn’t suffocating and her organs simply gave out. She wasn’t thrashing or anything just went to sleep. We both have medical backgrounds we know the leaking fluid was because of her organs shutting down. When this happens the valve of crop opens as the muscles relax which leads to fluid leaking out.

But still I thought if tried harder in cpr I could save her. My acquaintance tells me there was nothing I could have done not even a skilled vet could save her. It’s just the reality of being a 10-year-old hen. My sister says Pepper knew she was dying and used the last of her energy to see us before letting go. Animals do that sometimes when they know they’re dying. I’m glad the last moments of your life was peaceful in my arms.

Grief is funny. I don’t know if it’s hit me yet or maybe me posting about her a few days ago has helped me come to terms that she was dying before. I feel kind of okay numb but okay. I am not an emotional wreck like I was with Cinnamon (my other hen who passed away this year ). Having a support’s community like this subreddit does help with that. I’m also glad that the last few days of your life was spent being spoiled. Fly high Pepper go find your sisters Georgie and Cinnamon at the rainbow bridge. 🌈🩷🩷