No one warned me that when you are Mother the chicks try to roost on your face

I moved my 7-week-old chicks out of the brooder and into their coop this week. They were having a great time until nightfall, and as the light faded, they became increasingly alarmed. When I peeked in through the door they swarmed my feet, cheeping.

I stepped into the coop and sat by their roost, hoping to coax them up off the cold ground. Five or six of them took that as an invitation to roost on ME. They perched on my lap, shoulders, and back, fighting over the spot on the top of my head. My crossbill cockerel preened my hair (or was just tangled in my ponytail.. maybe both). And three separate times, one of them launched themselves directly at my face, scratching my cheeks with their pointy little beaks and toenails. It was charming at first, until suddenly I found myself hunched over in the fetal position, protecting my face while an unknown number of birds, squabbling and poopy, desperately sought comfort on my every horizontal surface on my body. It felt like ages before I managed to extract myself.

I wish I could stay out with them all night without getting pooped on. I wish they had a real mother hen to keep them warm and teach them to be chickens... but none of my hens have gone broody, so I hatched these myself. I really am Mother. And with 18 chicks, I'm in a little over my head.