How to slay in hot but impractical clothes: my tips

Being a baddie is hard. I love heels, I love corsets, I love mini skirts, which means I have to take extra precautions to avoid blisters, suffocation, and flashing my underwear to the public.

So I’ve been on a journey to find the secrets of looking cvunty while actually feeling comfortable. Here are my top tips!

FOOTWEAR

So I saw this one tweet that goes: “I’m in endless pursuit of a shoe that can only be described as orthopedic yet slutty.”

This is the tragedy of shoes — the cvntiness of a shoe is usually inversely proportional to its comfort. Some of the absolute cutest shoes are just terrible for walking and will chew up your feet. And nothing feels less sexy than hobbling on your heels when the goal was to be effortless and cool.

The best solution to this problem is to buy shoes that are comfortable AND hot. This can be really hard because you start to notice that the ven diagrams for “hot” and “comfortable” are almost two seperate circles!

My approach is to search within categories that I know are comfortable, and then to scour those categories for a really beautiful pair. Here are the categories that have worked for me:
• platform sneakers (I love Converse for this, I’ve gone to raves and walked 15k+ steps in my Run Star Motions with no issues)
• flat walking sandals (I have some minimal black leather ones from Ecco that are so sleek and go with everything)
• flat knee high boots (make sure they are good quality and have foot support)
• some platform sandals or smaller heels (ditto)

Shoes like these might not have the impact of a gorgeous pair of high heels. But having them elevates your outfits for things like travel, nights out, or just running errands around town.

Here is another way to think about your shoes. Divide them into categories:
1. Shoes where you can walk 10k+ steps
2. 5-10k steps
3. Under 5k steps shoes
4. Shoes you need to sit in

Then think about how your shoes match your lifestyle. I live in a European city where I’m always on my feet, so the first category needs to be the largest. I have less of each category as the tier list goes on.

For the lower tiers, I ask myself how much slayage the shoes give me relative to how unwalkable they are. If a shoe in the lower tier is less slay than a shoe in a tier above it, I will declutter it. Impractical shoes need to make up for their impracticality by being truly gorgeous.

The holy grail is when you have several shoes that both look fantastic AND let you survive a night of partying. If anyone has more suggestions for shoes pls share them xoxoxo

ONE UNCOMFORTABLE ITEM RULE

Almost every time I get dressed, I always enforce a limit of 1 impractical item. By “impractical” I mean items that restrict your movement in some way or that you have to fuss over. For example:
• heels that need special care for walking
• a strapless corset that sometimes slides down a bit
• a mini skirt where you have to squat down to pick something up instead of bending over

Don’t get me wrong, I love so many of these “less practical” items. They can completely shift your energy and how you move yourself. Walking in heels can give you that runway stride. Corsets give me a boost of feminine energy.

However, having TWO uncomfortable items takes too much brain space. Maybe one of you hotties can pull off a corset with high heels, but that’s when I start micromanaging how I move. Instead of relaxing in my surroundings, I’m preoccupied with avoiding a wardrobe malfunction.

If you find yourself with too much impractical clothing, apply my slayage vs discomfort test. How hot does it make you look vs it’s impracticality? Get rid of anything that doesn’t make you look like a hundred bucks, it’s not worth it.

COMFORTMAXXING

When you’ve picked you’re one “impractical” item, there are still tips and tricks to make it more comfortable. Here is a huge list of everything I can think of:
• undergarments: these can make or break a look. A well-fitted and comfortable bra/bralette is the baseline of everything else. It’s good to have undergarments the color of your skin tone if you are wearing sheer garments. An elegant black bra or minimal bralette is also nice for layering under sheer tops
• shoes: if there is a friction point where a shoe might cause a blister, wear protective bandaids preventatively
• mini skirts: I will often wear my tiny black biker shorts underneath any skirt. Tights are also fantastic. If I must go without, then it will always be a black mini skirt with full coverage black underwear to avoid accidental flashing.
• mini skorts: these are a good alternative to mini skirts because the built in shorts make it less stressful to move around
• Warmth: there are winter thermal tights that are made to look like a much thinner layer than they are. Or you can make this effect yourself by wearing a thin sheer tight over a nude colored thermal tight. This way you can wear skirts into winter without freezing

PICK YOUR BATTLES

With experience, you’ll start figuring out which “beauty is pain” pieces are actually worth it for you, and which ones make you feel self concious.

It’s ok to give up on an item that looks amazing when you’re standing up, but in praxis keeps riding up or gets uncomfortable after you eat a meal. Clothes is supposed to fit YOU, not the other way around.

Here are things I’ve personally found don’t work for me, and that I’ve since decluttered/avoid.
• Bodycon dresses and tight skirts. I have hip dips and get bloated really easily, so I always feel more self concious in these clothes
• Dresses that require a strapless bra. I’m a 30G so pasties are not an option, and my size means that even quality strapless bras feel uncomfortable. Not to mention how sweaty it all starts to feel during heatwaves
• Super high heels. I adore the aesthetic but my Eastern European city has dusty uneven sidewalks, and I literally never drive anywhere. Even for weddings I’ve switched to low heels. It’s funny to see all the girlies at the weddings in high heels switch to sneakers by the end of the night. No way anyone is surviving all the folk dancing in those!

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Hope these are helpful suggestions! And always remember that your feminine energy is a powerful and beautiful force in the world. You got this girl!